Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Randomness

A new schedule has been taking a toll on me. Not because it is particularly physically or mentally demanding, but because I find myself missing “the way things were”. Tyson’s got his bags all packed, his car all oiled up, and he is headed down the road to begin his journey as a full time tattoo artist. Before I complain J Let me first just say that I am bursting at the seams with admiration for my hard working man. Sometimes our relationship, like every relationship, falls victim to the struggles of routine, lack of sleep, money, patience, etc. But I try so very hard to remind myself everyday that Tyson is a man among men. He took his new family and created a new life for us in a new place, with little to no help. He moved to Vegas by himself, found a job, found a place to live, moved his girls here, worked a full-time job, and worked at the tattoo shop for free during his apprenticeship. For months he worked 16+ hours a day and it has finally paid off. Major congratulations are in order for you, my love.

Soooo, I can complain now right? K thanks.

It is safe to say that I am enjoying my new job at the bank. I am thankful that, during this dim time in economical history, I even have the opportunity to earn money and contribute to my community. Learning a new set of rules, a new way of operation is a challenge and being challenged is unexpectedly refreshing! I am enjoying being a part of a team again as well. WITH ALL OF THAT SAID…. I miss my Charlea. I miss being home with her. Upon hearing that I was a “stay at home mom”, people would ask me… “really? So what do you do all day?” I laugh inside but I feel a little sad inside because it has become abundantly clear to me that the job of “Mom” is undervalued. I mean, some days are easy, a walk in the park, literally. Going to the park will be the hardest thing we do somedays, and on that day a smile won’t leave Charlea’s face, not a drop of food will get on Charlea’s clothes, the house magically stays fairly clean, naptime lasts 3 whole hours, and I get an excess of kisses and hugs. Those days are great, but then there are the dark days. On a dark day Charlea spends more time whining and fussing than anything else, the dishes overflow in the sink, there WILL be a diaper explosion, Charlea won’t eat, Charlea won’t sleep. To be honest… it takes me a couple of good days to recover from a dark one. Somedays Charlea could be happy, but I am annoyed… at life… and I just don’t feel like doing anything but laying on the couch watching someone else live their life, aka, EVERY SINGLE show on TV these days! But MOST days I have such an ardent passion for staying home and raising my daughter. That passion gets stronger with each day that she grows older. It grows stronger with each word she learns and each kiss that she gives me. Being a mom is SUCH an important job. A jobs difficulty coincides with it’s importance. Raising our children properly and well is creating a better future… so you decide how hard it is.

Even at work, my mind is never far from my baby girl. As much as I know that, my working is absolutely necessary right now. I can’t help but miss my old job L

I miss her laughing hysterically at nothing in particular....
I miss...
Moments like this when she learns something potentially dangerous, but I am laughing too hard to be concerned.
I miss watching her little mind work.

:BIG SIGH:

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