Friday, August 21, 2009

counting down the days until life is changed forever :)

There are about 60 days to go until lil Charlea gets here. On one hand, I cannot WAIT until she gets here. I'm getting toooooo big for my liking and I'm beginning to get to know her (what time of the day she gets hyper, what she reacts to, what noises she likes) and I just can't wait to put a beautiful face to her already spunky personality. But then again, our life is about to change in ways that we can't even imagine and it's kind of scary!!! When I think about that... I wish I could have another 60 days to prepare for life with Charlea.
Tyson and I are both stressing out about our future and sometimes it really takes a toll on our day to day relationship. I think we are so consumed by our own worries, that we forget that we are both in the same boat!! 
I have to say that I would not recommend getting pregnant and married at the same time. I think a husband and wife need time to figure out how to live with each other, to learn from each other and create a life that is comfortable for both. The merging of two separate lives is hard work no matter how similar a couple is. 
It's almost like Tyson and I are doing all of this "figuring out" in fast forward with a countdown! It certainly doesn't help that I am pregnant. All of my emotions are heightened. If I get mad, I throw things and scream. If I get sad, I feel more depressed than I have ever felt in my life. Married life has had it's ugly moments for us....
But I have to say that I am so glad that I have Tyson. We may fight and life might seem impossible, but when the storm has calmed, I realize that we are just "figuring it out" and  I love figuring it out with him. He is so wonderful to me and he truly makes me want to be the best wife for him. I really do love him more and more everyday and even though it gets hard some days.... I can't wait to live my life with him. I can't wait to struggle and fight and figure it all out with him.... nothing would make me more happy :)
And the countdown continues!!!

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