11/11/10

We lost our baby today............. wow......... that sentence was almost as hard to write as it was to say. I know more than a few people that have gone through miscarriages and have often wondered what I would feel if I were to be in their shoes. I guess it's just another thing in life that you just don't know, until it happens. A very acute heartbreak. Even though I would have liked to wait a few more months before trying for another baby, even though Tyson and I live in a small little apartment, and even though we have a lot going on in our lives... nothing figured out... I felt not once single ounce of relief, just heartbreak. I know that this is a very common part of life for 1 in 4 women. I know that tomorrow I will feel better, and the day after that I will feel much better and maybe a few weeks down the road I will start to think about trying again..... but today... after 5 hours in the hospital, being poked and prodded with scary hospital tools, and lots of tears... our family is back down to three and the sadness is all I can think about. The physical pain is something I was not expecting. My entire body aches like volleyball hell week of freshman year.

Thank goodness for my Tyson and Charlea. Any smile that managed to sneak through my lips today came from them. It just wasn't meant to be quite yet. I get to spend a little more time as the Taumaoe Trio... and you know what?? Ain't nothin wrong with that. It's barely 7 PM and I think I am going to join my girl in slumber. I look forward to tomorrow... less tears... more smiles... another day :)

Goodnight.