Etiquette 101: Speaking to a Pregnant Woman

Preface: I'm not sure what it is about a big ol' round belly that makes people of all ages flock to it. Literally flock. I was in Target the other day and a little old man followed me into the woman's pajama section to ask me if I just ate a watermelon! Ha! I know that I always notice a pregnant woman. Mostly because I am a woman who has bore a child and I know that it is an amazing thing that we woman are able to do... cook a baby. I always marvel at all of the different shapes and sizes of different bellies. Pregnant women are so very beautiful to me, and I think a lot of people feel the same way. Perhaps that is why so many go out of their way to give compliments, advice, comments etc. I know that (mostly) people have good intentions when they comment, so this post is (mostly) for fun :)

1. Do not ever ask a pregnant woman "wow, how many babies are in there!?". I think it is safe to say that most women are a little insecure about some part of their bodies. I think if you ask a women if they're happy with their weight, most would say that they wish they could loose a couple of pounds. Well guess what? Packing on 20 to 40 pounds and a big old melon belly doesn't exactly help that insecurity. You asking how many babies are in her belly basically translates to: "wow, your huge". Not something that any pregnant woman wants to hear, trust me.

2. Don't say "Oh my gosh, when are you due? tomorrow?" Chances are she is not due tomorrow but rather in a few months and your question translates to "Your way too big to be only 6 months along!"

3. Try to limit your advice. Today, for example, someone advised me that I need to sleep as much as I can now because when the baby comes, I won't be able to sleep a wink. Two problems I have with this particular bit of advice: 1. I have a watermelon attached to my stomach... do you think that sleeping is comfortable right now? no sir, it isn't. 2. There are a lot of worries and fear that come along with having a newborn, (even to a second time mama, like me) Why are you trying to give me more worries in mentioning how little sleep I will be getting? Not cool mister, not cool.

4. Do not ask "was she planned or a surprise?". Why people think that is an appropriate question boggles my mind. You might as well ask "oh did you forget to take the pill? or did the condom break?" yikes! Just don't go there.

5. It's probably a good idea to just NOT mention stretch marks.... thats just weird. and speaking of the belly. Don't touch it if it is not yours! pregnant woman are not Buddha. I personally don't freak when people touch mine, but I know most women don't appreciate it at all.

I think I'll stop there, but I'm sure I will come up with more in the two remaining months. I think most of the inappropriate comments and advice come in the last couple of months... when we are most emotional, irritable, and uncomfortable. perfect ;)

On a more personal note, I am having a much harder time with this pregnancy than I did with Charlea. I am swollen and sore pretty much everywhere. It's kind of a bummer, but I am still enjoying being pregnant. It is still a pretty magical thing.

That is all!